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The reason why I'm not hoping anything.
Monday, September 15, 2014 ϟ 8:08 AM ϟ 0 sweets Hello there, I'm back . So yeah the spm trial has ended and I 'm on one week school holiday. But still tak tenang sebab risau pasal trial result. I hate whenever I think about it. The worst part is if i'm failing on all subjects . Can you feel me? Beside it important to me because of my graduation ceremony and to see what I'm capable of. I REALLY HATE IT. Like seriously I study so hard. Well not that hard. But I've tried my best. Till i got so stressed. I dont want to fail on my trial. Especially on spm because there is one month and two weeks left. Tolak cuti apa semua, one month. Paling kurang 3weeks. So can you feel how much nervous i am? Dont even bother how i did on my trial. The first two days of trial, My mind are totally blank. And that makes me want to cry so bad. And my acc, all of the question i did, are not balance. Perdagangan, I'm totally messed up. So tell me how I cannot worry about it? Sigh. Just pray that I will not fail on all subjects So back on the title up there. That title are based on my experience. The 'who i am now' are not the same ppl i used to be. The 'used to be me', if i like or love someone i will not give up and will try so hard to get close with them. But now, i've grown up and matured enough to think what is right and wrong for me. The 'who i am now' will just hide all the feelings i feel and pendam sampai benda tuh hilang. If i'm in pain or broke down, I will just stay quite. Because to me, what's the point of showing how I felt but at the end, nobody cares. You know what? The 'who i am now' dont care about my feeling anymore. If it hurts, let it be. Cause If I care about it, it will only brings the pain even more. Ppl will never care if I ever tell about how i feel towards them. Let say I like someone, i will never confess or tell someone because I know what the answer is. I've no longer care about my feelings. To me, all I want to do is to make my family proud of me. Cause I know and I have faith in Allah SWT that someone out there is made to be with me. The other reason is why I'm not hoping anything is because they will end up hurting me even more. I know what I'm capable of and I know if I ever got hurt again, I will no longer stand up. So I just decide to shut all my feelings up. That way is the best. Apple Pie★  Neverland★ Berry Licious★ Template By: Nurul Ain Others: ★★★ |
