Hello ladies and gentlemen,

I know it's weird seeing me updating my blog. But I got my free time and Ieka kena jugak update blog sebab nak hilangkan rasa sedih ni. Why sedih? You know who right? The third person who can change my mood in 1sec. Okay that was a lie. Actually a guy who can make me feel sad because of his words. The 'Z' guy. I dont even know why the hell that I still talking about him but I just cant stop doing that.

So pasal 'Z' guy ni, Ieka bukannya apa. I feel like I have to move on like RIGHT NOW but things just wont happen like I want to. And I hate that even a small things that he did can make me feel upset, want to cry, annoyed and mad. Haih Ieka hari hari doa yang kalau betul dia bukan jodoh ieka, tolong jauhkan dia dari ieka. I know I'm still in high school to think about this but I have to cause this is about my feelings. And seems like Allah did took him far away from me BUT whenever I try to forget about him, something always stop me from doing that. for example, wherever I go out with my family and I look out the window , I always saw that fckng signboard showing 'Putrajaya' name. I hate that place as much as I want to forget about him. No kidding but I really hate it. That was okay at first since I thought that I'm staying in Malaysia of course I will saw that putrajaya name. But then, I saw all his exes name on my tl, instagram, etc. I got annoyed but still I can be patient about it. Later when I'm using my wechat on ppl nearby, all the guy that came out was his fcking NAME! That time I feel like I wanna cry so bad.

I dont know why the hell that I want to cry but it still hurts so bad. And then I find out that he's follow his ex whom once cheat on him and maybe he's planning want to get back with her idk. But I thought that why he can go back with that girl but he hates me? Just whatever with that . But I really want to cry whenever I thought about what everything he has done to me. I dont know what Allah has plan for me but I got confuse cause Allah did took him far away from me but something always stop me from forgetting about him. All I want is to forget about him cause I feel like he seems to enjoy seeing I get upset and etc because of him. Knowing him, I know he loves seeing girls upset about him. He got his ego but I got mine too. I'm not gonna fall down again bcs of him and I'm not planning on wanting him back or whatever that has anything to do with him. I just want to get rid this pain and live happily. Maybe I should tell my mom to get me an arranged marriage. Hahaha I read to many novels xp. I hate this pain and tired of it so I want to live happily but still I dont know what Allah want to show to me. I just dont know :')

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